1. I’m afraid to be too happy about the whole cancer thing. I know the scan was good news because it didn’t show that I have any metastases, but I guess I feel like this has been such a huge crisis for me – one that has only been known about since November – and that I’ve been such a victim to it that it’s too soon for me to breathe a sigh of relief and put it to bed never worrying about it again. I fear that the Big C will creep it’s ugly head back out again and I won’t be mentally prepared for it if I just celebrate and think I’m in the clear. Not that I want to walk around on eggshells for the rest of my life, but it’s just too soon for me to feel free right now. Maybe after I get another clear scan in 9 months I can breathe easier.

2. Claire is only 16 months but I think we’ve entered the Terrible Two’s with her. She just has these huge temper tantrums if she doesn’t get what she wants (or for no apparent reason at all) and arches her back and screams at decibels that cause dogs to go deaf. I have no patience for her when she’s like this and I instantly have Mom Guilt, thinking I’m a sucky mother because she drives me crazy so fast. I should be patient and serene and Mary-like, but I’m not. In many ways (all ways, really) Huz and I enjoy her so much more at this stage then when she was just a cute, immobile lump of baby goodness, but this is also a very, very hard stage too. And I’m admitting it.

3. I’ve been good at being budget-friendly in the kitchen this week (as opposed to ignoring the fact that we need to eat and not preparing anything which inevitably leads to eating out and spending too much money). On Monday I made clam chowder and last night I made Moroccan chicken pot pie. Tonight Huz is making potato latkes and lentil soup on Friday. On Saturday I’m making beer-battered fish tacos. Yum.

4. I’ve had yet another Synthroid dosage change as my Doctor is still trying to get my TSH levels acceptably low. I find this very frustrating, being on my 4th dosage change since December, but also know it’s par for the course. I just want things to be normal again.

5. I have decided that I hate Google Reader. I just started using it but now I see why nobody leaves me comments anymore. I find it very impersonal when I merely scroll down everyone’s posts on some boring white screen, ignoring all the work they (I’m talking about me now, people) put into creating their html template and nice header photos, and Netflix rental photos, and what they are reading photos, etc. It’s like looking through the windows of someone’s home instead of walking in the door. I don’t like it.

That is all for now.

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