Overall, breastfeeding has been really great: it’s a wonderful bonding time for me and Claire, she gets the very best nutrients and antibodies possible, and I’ve lost all of my pregnancy weight (and then some) by doing it. But, I am also apparently prone to getting clogged ducts as I’m suffering from my 7th or 8th one so far. I’ve got to tell you – they HURT. It feels like a hard, sore lump that only goes away with time, massage (ow!), and continual breastfeeding. Yesterday I was suffering on my left-side and today it’s the right. Good.Freakin’.Times. I called a lactation consultant (who I now know on a first-name basis) and she recommended taking soy lecithin supplements which are in PAM cooking spray – it basically prevents the fat from building up and blocking the ducts. If it works, I’ll do it! Shoot, if spraying PAM all over me would work, I’d do it. Calm down, Huz, you know they aren’t yours right now anyway – don’t bother even imagining it! 😉

In other news, I’m feeling like a big loser. I set up lofty goals and ambitions for myself because they make me feel like I’m actually productive and doing something worthwhile with my life (i.e., going to grad school). But, I’ve decided that it would be more than I can handle right now. As it is, I’m exhausted after working a busy full-time job every day and, most importantly, I only see Claire 3 hours a day. I can’t imagine having class and homework on top of that – I’d never see her, Huz, or my pillow and I just couldn’t take that right now. Heck, I have specific photography goals that Huz and I talked about, typed up, and got excited about (to include a cocktail party/exhibition for friends, even), but haven’t even picked up my damn camera for lack of time and energy – how could I add grad school to my list!? While I know it’s wise setting boundaries for myself, I just can’t help feeling a little lame for backing out of this because it sounded so damn awesome. Sigh. I don’t know why I’m so hard on myself; sometimes I think I’m my own worst enemy.

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