Here’s the kind of stuff that apparently happens in this city. Crazy.

“A minor traffic accident led to a strange sequence of events this
afternoon. The accident was near Opry Mills, a female passenger in one
vehicle got out slapped the other driver. The female slapper did not
want to talk to police so she jumped in the river and swam across. The
police on the mall side found out that the female was on her way to
rehab, but decided to hit the crack pipe one more time. So now she is on
Mossrose Dr, and naked. East officers are trying to cover her and are
calling for female officer assistance.”