Ignoring one’s self for the sake of another is noble, isn’t it? That’s how our society chooses to see it anyway: mothers care for their children and families without taking a moment to think about their own needs (so the traditional gender role story goes). But why exactly is this noble? Sure, the golden rule is important – love your neighbor – but what about ourselves? What about nurturing yourself a little bit too? What about acknowledging that you must be independent and a whole person in and of yourself, which means thinking and caring about yourself? This, my friends, seems to be my big lesson at the ripe age of 30. I’ve been neglecting myself, stressed out and stuck in the whatdoIwannabewhenIgrowup cycle without really allowing myself to be myself. I’ve thought about my likes and interests without really allowing myself them as a possibility, instead dismissing them as a silly fancy. I’ve not let myself be fully me. This is a tragedy. But with counseling and some different life choices, I’m going to change this cycle. Amen.

So this weekend was fantastic. I had some bad first impressions at the massage place when I wasn’t greeted in a soothing, professional manner, but was told gruffly to go sit down because my therapist wasn’t even here yet. Said therapist was a chubby old redneck (sorry to offend anyone, but she was) wearing street clothes (jeans and an old t-shirt) and smelling like she just finished a cigarette (something I can’t stand the smell of and is antithetical to relaxing to me). But – and there is a but, people – she was hands down the best masseuse I’ve ever experienced. That woman worked every muscle I have (some I wasn’t even aware of having until she manipulated them with perfectly deep pressure), from my head, neck, shoulders, back, arms, hands, fingers, legs, feet and toes. You can’t always read a masseuse by her cover, that’s for sure.

Yoga the next morning was really good. It was an hour and a half long and the owner/teacher was supportive, friendly, and challenging. I was quite the pretzel during it and I still feel it today in my shoulders and hip/glutes (guess I need another massage!). She’s turning 50 this coming Saturday and is offering the class for free, so I’ll definitely be back, probably with some friends tagging along. I’m glad I took the time to get out and do this by myself; it was well worth it.

I made my favorite fall/winter snack in the afternoon – cranberry, walnut pumpkin bread so my house was filled with a spicy fragrance all night.

Dinner with my new friends, N&T, was really nice. We enjoyed some deep, dark and spicy pork chili with some wine from Chile (ha ha, I was being so clever when I chose it) followed by a movie we rented (TransAmerica – about a transgendered man to woman – a humanizing effort of a film, which I find very important).

Then Huz got home at 2:45a.m. and we enjoyed talking in bed for several hours despite the early hour – something we haven’t done in a long time. We went out for breakfast the next morning and then on a 2 1/2 hour hike full of exercise and deep conversation. It was the perfect ending to a perfect weekend.