Scene: Cold, drizzly afternoon. Driving through a bad neighborhood and the check engine light goes on…again.

Wha? Oh, hello! I was just thinking about yesterday. When I got off from work I had an appointment to meet a friend. She teaches a creative writing class at a local recovery house for women. It’s called Magdeline House and it serves women who have a history of drug addiction and prostitution, helping them to recover and teaching them some valuable working skills. I volunteered to take some photographs of the women who will be presenting their poems at a fund raiser next month. Needless to say, it was in a not-so-nice part of town and the engine light flashed on (third time in four months), which was a bit freaky but I survived. Some of the pictures came out really well – others were just okay. The lighting inside was really dim and it was raining out, so at first I did them all inside and wasn’t too happy with them. Eventually I gained confidence and asked the women to go outside where the natural lighting would be far superior, promising to be quick so they wouldn’t get too wet.

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What else? I interviewed twice for a job the week before last. Nothing too exciting, but a job on campus that offers more room for growth than my current one (I’m at the top of my pay scale already). I had one interview and then an immediate call back with the Boss the next day, but then nothing for over a week. Not a confidence booster, that.

This weekend is supposed to be the big marathon weekend for Huz – something he’s been working really hard on for the last few months, only the last 20 mile run left him with a calf that is less than ideal for a race. He’s been in pain for almost 2 weeks and I’m so very sad for him. He’s going to test it out on a run on Friday and decide if he can run his first marathon or not. (If not, I regret that I won’t be able to meet you Lisa.)

It actually got cold here for a few days – going down into the 40s at night. This reminded me of how badly I want my house to have central heating and air. Instead, we have these horrible old electric heaters in the walls that turn bright red when on and are very dangerous. On top of that, they don’t heat the house – just the wall they are on. So we went out and bought an oil-filled radiator to see if that would be better over the winter. Works like a charm!

Finally, I’ve been quiet on the conception topic. Basically, I’m stressing about it and need to stop talking about it for a time. While I have family support and enthusiasm, this can sometimes feel overwhelming as the expectations are that I’ll be pregnant by the time I go home for the holidays. I also find myself in a place where 2 other couples very close to us are trying at the same time and while this could be a good thing, a community for all of us when it happens, it feels like a competition at times, intentional or not. I have been off the Pill for 6 months and because I’ve been charting, I know that I’ve only ovulated once during that time. I decided to stop charting last week because this has been a stressor for me too – each time the temp goes up and then crashes back down the next morning I get depressed. So, we will continue to try, but we’re not going to talk about it with our friends and I’m going to stop obsessing over my temperature. Also, I’m starting a yoga class tonight to de-stress myself. Hopefully all of these things will create a relaxed and happy body so that it can do what it’s supposed to do.

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