Something big is happening in the Victoria household.

For one, Huz has been doing his part to de-white trash our house. This has involved several things. The first, which is the most important, was him taking down the rusted out basket ball hoop from the backyard. This was a long process because he used only the mere tools of a mortal renter (a kitchen stool and a wrench). Then he braved the wilds of the backyard again to take down the dilapidated shed that has driven me crazy for almost a year because 1. it’s hideous, 2. it’s broken door slams loudly in any windstorm we have, and 3. it’s hideous. He did this task with only a pair of work gloves and a screwdriver – where there’s a will, there’s a way. He successfully de-white trashed our yard, for which I am eternally grateful.

Then tonight I vacuumed the floors, dusted the furniture, and used the wonderful cleaner called Windex. Now when you take a gander at your reflection in the bathroom mirror, you no longer have to look through dried bits of toothpaste or Huz fingerprint streaks (despite my best bitching he still tries to wipe the condensation away to shave). The dust bunnies that have resided peacefully under the bed and corners of the hallway were also given an eviction notice tonight.

Me: Ahhh. We are now prepared.

You: For what?

Isn’t it obvious? My mother’s coming to visit! She and my step-dad are making their first Nashville visit which has me desperately googling “fun things to do in Nashville.” It should be fun. At least they won’t be scared away by our white trash backyard.