I was in the darkroom working on some last minute prints this week and some interesting conversation with my classmates ensued. Most of us get along pretty well and there is generally camaraderie and friendly bantering that happens in the dim, red-lit room as we make test strips and slosh our work around in the chemicals. But Wednesday, our last day of class, was an all out slap-happy, anything-goes kind of day. Someone (cough, Adrienne, cough) brought up the Oprah show she had watched that morning, which was on the topic of poop. (Yes, I said POOP. Don’t like this topic? Then you better not continue reading this poopy post and I advise that you definitely avoid reading this, this, and this.)

Ahem. So, we all laughed wildly as Adrienne quoted the Dr. on the show, who said that normal* poop should be in the shape of an S when it comes out of the, er, body. Ok, I now officially know that I am not normal when it comes to the pooping department. Neither do I have long, bowl-wrapping poop, nor does it come out in the form of the English alphabet.

So, the laughing and joking continued and I decided to share a little story: once I was so constipated that I had serious thoughts about getting a spoon from the kitchen to aid my impacted rectum a bit. Now, I said I thought about it, people. I didn’t really do it! One of the students (cough, Jacob, cough) was so grossed out by the conversation of POOP and SPOONS that he actually left! He told the teacher that I was “being bad” and left! WTF!? First of all, I didn’t bring the topic up, and secondly, this is the guy who did a series of full-frontal nudes, showing all of us his bird perch. And he’s freaking out about the innocent (and damn funny) talk about POOP!? What gives?

*I don’t even want to know how they determined what “normal” poop was. Were there official poop collectors that went door to door collecting random samples, or what!? And how did they bring it back to the lab in it’s original shape? Hmm. Must have S-shaped bags or something.

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